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| ARGH
THE NAME JUST CAME INTO MY HEAD
EMPEROR CONSTANTINE
THE GUY WHO MERGED THE CHURCH AND THE STATE.
SHEEEEEESH
I SHOULD HAVE PAID MORE ATTENTION ON REFORMATION SUNDAY -_-
AND THE PAYING MONEY THING
IS CALLED "indulgences"
I FORGOT THE TERM
i had no choice but to write "pay money" to fund the st peter's basillica
SHEESH.
haha okay back to arab israel | | |
| Well, gotta get this down because its something i dont want to forget
Last night, at 11 after finishing up on decolonisation - i decided it would be time to go to sleep
so as usual, i said my bednight prayers, read the bible (im on matthew 22) and said more bednight prayers,
read the verse jiayun gave us - and then read the last two chapters of p&p
Very confidently (and very excitedly) i went to bed - prepared for the next paper
but alas
i could not sleep
i tossed and turned and went to the toilet a gazillion times
and i just could not sleep
the funny thing was that i wasnt even anxious or scared for the exam - but as the night passed, i got more worried and anxious because i knew that a lack of sleep would seriously hinder me
no matter what posture ( i even tried face flat on pillow which left me quite out of breath)
and no matter how many prayers i said
verses i recited - trust in the lord with your heart, the lord is my refuge and strength, peace that passeth all understanding
how many songs i sang in my head (sang "Grace- your will cannot lead me where your grace will not keep it i sang it a gazillion times)
i just could not get to sleep
to the point where i nearly went "God if you let me sleep, ill do something for you - i dont know what" but then i remembered the sermon on sunday which said - let your nay be nay and your yeah be yeah and you shouldnt commit to something you cannot commit to - and then i stopped myself
at first i thought okay, nevermind im used to this - ill sleep eventually
well 2 am came
i was still awake apparently
then 4 am came
more prayers (i even started chanting "God please help me sleep" to get me to sleep)
but to no avail
i got pretty bitter and angry actually - i started feeling really angry that God had to do this to me, on such an important exam and i really was very very bitter - WHY GOD WHY I KEPT ASKING
then 6 am came and i heard my father wake up - my heart sunk
then at 6.21am i couldnt take it anymore i ran out and hugged my father and started crying
wailing rather
which got my sister and my mum up
heh
then more drama happened when i tried to drink the coffee and eat the eggtart
i nearly vommitted
my father then held my hands and prayed for me - and i felt reassured after that
and i told God - that hey you're sovereign, you know what you're doing
but still because of our human failings i was still feeling really really worried
i mean ive slept at 3am (PSLE ENGLISH HAHA) and 4 am before but never have i not slept a wink (im serious, okay i probably dozed off for 5-10min but i was awake for much of the night)
and my heart just kept beating and sinking (yes really till the point that it hurts and i felt like vomitting)
and i was feeling really anxious
well what to do when you feel anxious? pray and get people to pray for you
smsed all the people i could think of that would pray for me and my church friends too
and so during the exam i felt much more comforted because i know people would be waking up
reading my smses and praying for me
God would be with me I could do this
So how did the paper turn out?
manageable and considering i didnt sleep at all - fantastic
adrenaline was high, i didnt feel sleepy - a bit high and nauseous - but pretty much okay
so what have i learnt
what i think God wants me to learn from my first A level paper is this
- not to have more faith in him (i dont think thats the reason why i couldnt fall asleep)
but really that he wants me to rely on Him and not on my own intellect
I did well in the exam today (I'm pretty sure it was pretty good) not because of how wonderful my memory was, or how well i understood, but truly it was the grace of God that led me through and provided for me throughout that 3 hours - if not for him i pretty sure i would have fallen asleep there or i dont know cry and blank out
but i knew, i knew that God was with me - God was for me, my friends were all praying for me, and i felt that immense sense of peace - and i wholeheartedly thank the Lord for it
so on to my next few papers - do i hope i wont have this sleeping problem again
but its okay if anything, today reminded me that my God is a sovereign one - i need not fear:)
thanks everyone who prayed - :) | | |
| i cant decide if tomorrow is the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning
HAHA
nonetheless 17 days more!!! | | |
| 
Mr Nu seems like quite a jolly old man
too bad i also know him to be the man who led a weak democratic government in Burma
and under his poor leadership, the AFPFL got split into "clean" (u nu) and "stable" (ba swe) factions
till he had to ask Ne Win to look after Burma for him
and thats how military rule in Burma started
Why, oh why, did Aung San die | | |
| 1. US UNI APPLICATIONS (whoohoo)
2. MOE TEACHING INTERNSHIP (hopefully i get it! if not ill go seek employment in my good ol' alma mater hahaha)
3. Sunday School Teaching (next year - p5 and p6s girls HAHA ive led songs, played the piano but ive never taught sunday school before... im excited!!)
4. TF Mentorship - time to get things going i say!
5. YF CAMP 2009 - First time im not IN the comm - first time i can enjoy things for real i think :) and enjoy the messages without being so flustered about stuff to be done...the mary martha conundrum if you get what i mean
6. YF COUNTDOWN 2009 - 2010 - well im in charge! first time too! can't wait ive got some good ideas waiting to be put into action!!
7. READING BOOKS - har har i want to read some good literature, yep i do!
8. Researching on MOE - like policies and stuff, after all, thats what i wanna do i better know stuff huh!!!
9. KOREAN DRAMA
10. SS501 CONCERT (the A levels mugging period has made me some quick bucks lolll - about 120 dollars in saving now)
11. POSSIBLE HOLIDAY WITH FRIENDS (jacky, joelynn lets not be lazy and try to do this!!!)
12. Touring Singapore with Jacky - HAHA jac ive decided ill accompany you, itll be quite fun i wanna go night safari
13. relax and take a chill pill and do anything i feel like doing - sleeping eating lazing around bed till noon
sleeping at 5am talking on msn (har har)
14. LUNCH WITH _____ AND DINNER WITH _____ (LOL!!!!!!)
and of course tea with my dearest celine HAHAHAH
:)
:)
:)
Life is good
will be good
soooooooon.
cant wait!
oh point number 15 is
WAIT FOR A LEVEL RESULTS.
point number 16
GET A LEVEL RESULTS
point number 17
GET UNI ACCEPTANCE (not rejection i hope) LETTERS
point number 18
GET SCHOLARSHIP
19
GET THE HECK OUT OF SINGAPORE
alright....
i think ill stop here or ill be talking about getting married by point 30
HAHAHA
EXCITING
A levels end in ... 22 days i think!!
my dad says
the battle belongs to the lord
ah yes! indeed :) | | |
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